Draft 30- Updated 22 SEPTEMBER 2026 (C004/D030)
LT, the youngest of the four constables, stayed with the overseer. He knew it was his job to watch the boss’ back.
Morons.
It had taken less than three weeks to get this close to them. He wanted to use this trust, wanted to see the looks on their faces when he stepped up behind the overseer and drew his blade across his throat—justice for what he planned to do to these children.
But LT knew he couldn’t do that right now now. This moment required patience. Tomorrow night, he would be inside the Shadows. If he found what he hoped to find there, it might put an end to all of this. Then … he could think about settling scores.
LT saw the elf on the mountain pony entering the square. There were two more elves across the street. The scout, the female engaged with the butcher, seemed familiar. He felt like he had seen her in another town a while back. The elf reorganizing his saddlebags … who could tell? Elf hunters all dressed like hunters. And they all had that same woodlands skin tone. Telling one hunter from another was nearly impossible.
The elf riding toward him, however, was not a hunter. He was different. An eladrin elf, petite with red-orange hair tied up in a healer’s braid. His clothing, particularly the burnt umber cape, was oddly feminine but he wore a ginger beard—neatly trimmed—beneath a thick handlebar moustache. He carried no obvious weapons and offered no hint of threat.
LT’s eyes followed the rider as his pony sauntered in their direction on a line that would see him pass a safe distance away. For a moment, the eladrin made eye contact. It seemed as if he was about to say something, but a cough from one of the girls in the slave wagon distracted him.
The small man frowned slightly and his head tipped to one side. His eyes shifted from LT to the coughing girl. Angling his mount’s course deliberately, he approached the coffle wagon and stopped beside it.
This was a breach of protocol. Everyone who saw it knew that instantly. The clergyman, the councilors, all stopped talking. The adult slaves tending the wagons froze in place. LT’s hand moved deliberately to his pommel.
Summary:
• No change from prior read to OOO, PoV, plot movement or character change
Notes:
justice for what heHe? Or the govenor? Or the company? planned to do to these children.
But LT knew he couldn’t do that right now now. This moment required patience. Tomorrow night, he would be inside the Shadows. If he found what he hoped to find there, it might put an end to all of this. Then … he could think about settling scores.
LT saw the elf on the mountain pony entering the square. There were two more elves across the street. The scout, the female engaged with the butcher, seemed familiar. Side question. Three elves? Is that a lot? From having read other chapters, few elves are mentioned mixing with humans.
An eladrin elf, Would LT know this?
The small manI keep forgetting to ask. Should this be small elf?
Hello, here are some notes taken while reading the chapter:-
– “LT, the youngest of the four constables”: The name presented as an acronym, unless it is a convention of the genre, seems out of place in a “medieval” setting. Maybe it is a way of transposing something that works with westerns to the story. Indeed at this point in the story I haven’t yet been able to transition with my reader’s mind to the pure western genre.
– “He wanted to…”: here the POV is LT’s? He must be the wanted man…
– “the female engaged with the butcher”: rewinding the scene in order to watch it again every time from a different POV is a nice technique.
– “An eladrin elf, petite… offered no hint of threat”: he’s the most lethal of them all actually…
– “LT’s hand moved deliberately to his pommel”: nice build-up of tension
This micro-chapter works for me in creating a sense of expectation for what (burst of violence?) is about to happen. At least three different threads are converging to this instant when the destinies of the actors will be sealed.