Draft 2 – Updated 30 SEPTEMBER 2026 (C037A/D001)
The Company horse ran a full league at panic speed before it slowed to a walk and then stopped. When LT first located it, the animal made an effort to stay away from them. But when they slowed to a walk, the painted gelding fell in to walk alongside them. And they soon formed their own tiny herd.
Low dark clouds thickened at midday and the already cool air quickly took on a chill. A short while later, his exhalations turned cloudy and LT predicted snow before nightfall.
At their turnoff, the Company gelding tried to follow his new herd down to Churnwood, but Hunter wasn’t having it. The mere presence of that branded animal could give a deputy an excuse to hang them as horse thieves. So Hunter led the gelding past the turnoff toward the Company camp a few leagues on. When the horse picked up the scent of his remuda, Hunter chased him off and backtracked to their original destination.
The Churnwood River roared down the mountain cutting through the rocky gorge marking the boundary between Elvenwood and the human colony of Wetheran. Everything north of the Churnwood belonged to the elves. Everything south, except the ranch and its livery, was claimed by the human colony.
Entering Elvenwood here required crossing a swinging ropebridge suspended over the boiling water. The only other land route into The Wood was located up in the highlands many leagues to the east of the river’s headwaters.
“We will leave the horses here and walk,” Hunter said, speaking Elvish for the first time in LT’s presence.
The younger man’s brow pinched in concentration. He looked down, moved his lips, and repeated the Elvish words in a slow whisper.
“They s’posed to teach you some Elvish,” Hunter said, speaking Human again after a pause.
“They did,” LT replied. “But it’s been awhile. I ain’t had much practice lately. Can you say it again … only slower?”
Hunter cleared his throat. “Horses cannot cross the bridge,” he said, carefully articulating each word in Elvish. “We will leave them at the livery and walk.”
LT nodded, thinking the words through and framing an honest response. “Something about walking and horses on the bridge,” he said, hoping this translation was truthful enough that his colours would not betray him.
Hunter nodded and his mare let out a soft, happy nicker. “This home for her,” he said, stroking her neck. “Been a piece since we last.”
LT smiled, but he was not thinking about the mare. He was preoccupied with formulating a plan that carried with it a risk of misleading Hunter. It was true that his Elvish was rusty and it was true that he had had little practice recently. But LT had a keen ear for languages and had been a highly motivated student. His mother had read Elvish nursery rhymes to him when he was young. He’d also had the benefit of nearly five months of practice in a work camp.
He wasn’t entirely sure how long he would be with Hunter in The Wood. But his instincts told him he would learn more if the elves around him spoke freely while he was there. Trouble was his colours might give him away. And crossing lines like these could get him tangled up in lies.
As they approached the hitching post in front of the livery, LT spotted two border guards stationed at the bridge. The one who saw them first, slapped the other with the back of his hand and thrust his chin in their direction. Both stood as Hunter dismounted and hitched his horse in front of the stable, but he didn’t seem to notice them.
Are they looking at me? LT wondered briefly. But since he could not imagine why they would be, he figured their eyes must be on Hunter.
The field stone livery office behind the sturdy hitching post was empty. Hunter and LT made their way across the well-kept yard through the open doors of a massive barn topped by a steeply sloped roof. The building appeared to be of dwarven construction and was so large that it felt more like a fortress than a simple horsebarn.
LT had been to Churnwood Livery a number of times, but he had never dared wander past the counter in the small building where livery business was conducted. That Hunter did so without hesitation made him wonder if the rules here were different for elves.
The big horse barn seemed ever bigger once they entered it. It occurred to LT that it was larger, by a few magnitudes, than the stone church in Old Mill. It reminded him of sketches of cathedrals in his mother’s book of landmarks from the old county.
Where he had expected to see posts and beams, he found columns and stone arches. He realized that the building had stables on the ground floor and a hayloft above. But the height of the structure suggested at least one additional floor above the loft. There could even be two, he realized.
The central aisleway was lined with stalls. The first two on the left were dedicated to tack. The first on the other side of the aisle was the wash rack. The second on the right, revealed one staircase going up and another—to his surprise—going down.
What it went down to was impossible to know, but that it existed at all was curious. LT had never seen a barn with a cellar. He wondered if it underlayed the barn’s stone floor or if it turned out under the corral beside the building. Since the structure was built by dwarves, either seemed possible to imagine.
A thin dark-haired human with pale white skin and a club foot was scrubbing down the light socks of a sorrel mountain pony when they entered. He looked at them, then his eyes darted across the aisleway to the inner tack room.
LT followed that glance and spotted a grey-brown, clean-shaven elf of middle age leaning over a saddle he was repairing on a workbench. When he looked up from the task he was concentrating on and his posture changed immediately.
He did not smile at Hunter, but his reaction seemed one of recognition. A moment later, his eyes turned to LT, carefully scanning him from head to toe.
“Good evening,” the yard master greeted Hunter in the human tongue, something that would be expected on this side of the river. “Can I get you boys a plate? There’s still some soup in the pot.”
“Pre-shate the offer,” Hunter replied, “but we gone keep moving for a while yet. Hoping you’ll board our mares a few days.”
The elf’s eyes darted to LT and then back to Hunter. “Just two? Or you got pack horses as well?”
“Just the two,” Hunter said. “Back in a few days.”
“Provisions?”
“Same as usual,” Hunter replied. “On my account if that’s alright.”
The yard master’s eyes flicked again to LT before he nodded in agreement. He appeared uneasy, as if he had questions he dared not pose.
Then Hunter switched to Elvish. Speaking almost faster than LT could comprehend, he ordered the yard master to have two mounts and two pack mules ready for winter travel in the high mountains three days hence. He instructed him to do something to his own horse and to bring LT’s horse “up to” something else.
LT didn’t understand all of the Elvish words so he wasn’t sure what Hunter was arranging for the horses. But the livery master did not object, so he figured it must be something commonly done.
“Just the basics,” Hunter added in Elvish.
“Not much time,” the master objected more as a reminder than a complaint.
“I understand, Ffen. Just do the best you can,” Hunter replied.
“As you wish.” The man’s head tipped forward a fraction—instinctively—before Hunter turned and led LT away.
As they unpacked their saddlebags and stuffed their pockets for the long hike through The Wood, LT reflected on the conversation he had witnessed with the yard master. Not only did Hunter seem like a completely different person when he was speaking Elvish, but Churnwood Livery seemed like a completely different place.
The few times LT had been to Churnwood himself, the yard master had been friendly and polite, but LT had never seen him as formally polite as he was today. Clearly, he and Hunter had a previous relationship for Hunter asked him to put the expenses on his account and that had been agreed to without hesitation. It was possible that this was the yard master’s way with all of his elf customers. But LT’s previous experience in an elven work camp made this explanation seem unlikely. Deference flowed upward with rank in the work camp. That seemed to be the natural order of things everywhere.
“What’s the plan?” he asked Hunter when they were clear of the barn.
“Origin,” Hunter replied. “Before sunset tomorrow.”
“Is that your hometown?” LT probed.
“Ain’t no towns in The Wood.”
“So what is it?”
Hunter considered the question. “Like your Shadows, I s’pose.”
“So like the governor’s mansion?”
“I guess. Ain’t no mansion though.”
LT imagined the governor’s mansion in the form of a tree house. He wondered how many trees it might occupy. “What are we doing there?” he asked.
“Need to get a message out.”
“We should be going to the docks then, shouldn’t we?”
Hunter shook his head. “Needs to go by courier.”
LT was curious about the letter’s contents, but didn’t want to pry.
“You must have some pull if you’re getting the governor to deliver your mail.”
Hunter glanced his way, a hint of annoyance on his brow, but said nothing.
“Seems a long way to go to deliver a letter,” LT continued his gentle probing.
“Gotta see family too.”
“Awe,” LT grinned. “Are you taking me to meet your parents?”
Hunter snorted.
The elf soldiers guarding the hanging bridge were stiff, silent, and disciplined as the travellers approached their guard house. In his experience, LT found that elven guards were just as arrogant and posturing as human guards, all of whom had at least some contempt for the commoners they encountered in their daily routines. These guards were not that. Nothing about their manners suggested contempt.
“We should stay here tonight,” LT suggested. “Cross in the morning.”
Hunter was dubious. “You feared of the dark, too?”
“Feared of freezing to death,” LT said frankly. “Feels like we’re getting some snow tonight. And, you oughta get some medicine for that cut on your cheek.”
“Ain’t no time”—Hunter nodded at the guards, who parted, giving him unspoken access to the bridge deck—”We’ll stop when the snow comes. Sooner if we gotta.”
LT wasn’t sure this was a good idea. “That wound could fester if you don’t clean it.”
“It’ll heal,” the elf insisted.
Summary:
• Ok, LT’s PoV, but I wasn’t completely sure for several paragraphs. He is essentially being drug along by Hunter. I don’t get a clear indication that he understands their objective. Hunter eventually mentions the letter by courier again, and that he needs to see family.
• There is clear world building going on here. I don’t feel the plot advance much. Hunter evidently has a great amount of standing in the elvish community. LT is trying to pry information, one way or another, sticking to his plan on how to combat the company and looking to see how to use the elves in that quest.
• Not detecting much character arc movement for either of them.
Notes:
Low dark clouds thickened at midday and the already cool air quickly took on a chill. A short while later their breaths turned cloudy and LT predicted snow before nightfall. LT’s PoV
At their turnoff, the Company gelding tried to follow his new herd down to Churnwood, but Hunter wasn’t having it.
…
When he picked up the scent of his remuda, they chased him off and backtracked to their original destination. Hunter’s PoV?
LT nodded, thinking through the words and framing an honest response. LT’s PoV
Trouble was his colours might give him away. colours?
The building appeared to be of dwarven construction First mention of dwarves in this world that I can remember.
That Hunter did so easily made him wonder if the rules here were different for elves. is easily the right word here? With no hestitation?
LT was mildly surprised by Hunter’s fluency. Yes, Elvish was a different language, but Hunter didn’t just sound like he was speaking a different language. In Elvish, he sounded like a completely different person. This doesn’t track with me. In my experience it is common for people to sound very different when speaking a language where they are fluent. Much more ‘comfortable’.
A memory flashed in LT’s mind.
“I started a fire here once,” he confessed, laughing softly at the memory. “Accidental though. Didn’t know I was in The Wood when I done it.” This admission seems a bit dangerous. Hunter knows that they get some elvish training and he admits to being in a work camp after starting a fire.
Elves have a lot of stupid rules. smart rule. The rich buy immunity. Time is not replaceable.
“Feed all our neighbors, if we can,” Hunter replied. Kill neighbors to feed neighbors?
Hunter wrapped a rope around LT’s chest and tied the other end to his waist. As he had done the previous night in the dark, Hunter instructed LT where to put his hands and feet. At first, it was slow and difficult. LT’s sword and scabbard caught on branches so many times that he soon wished he’d left it with his horse.
“I can stash it,” Hunter offered. “We’ll pick it up on the way out.”
Their speed improved after that and LT began to get the hang of it. As the day passed, they moved faster. Early in the afternoon, Hunter removed the rope and their speed increased yet again. you talk about removing the rope later too, making this feel redundant.
LT was accustomed to walking on two legs. This was more like scrambling up a steep slope. It required arms and legs working together. He felt more animal than human, as if he were a bear or a mountain lion moving through the world on four legs.
Appreciate your thoughts. I’m going to work on this right now.
Objective: Get to the Elvenwood on foot. Have the dwarves who man the stables rest, then prepare their horses and two ponies with supplies for their return. The message Hunter has needs to be sent by courier.
Obstacles: The journey needs to be made on foot. LT doesn’t understand the plan or know much about it. The dark and the snow could be problematic, as well as the cut on Hunter’s cheek. LT worries about keeping warm and surviving the night.
Outcome: We learn how different elves and humans are. Elves look after everyone, even those yet to be born. Humans look after themselves and never think of others. They don’t have time to; they’re too busy fending for themselves and surviving. Elves live in harmony with the world around them. Humans take what they need, extort it and never consider the consequences of what they take and don’t put back to maintain the natural world.
We discover LT is more fluent in Elven than he let Hunter believe. He hopes to use this to his advantage by eavesdropping on Elven conversations that will give him more information… so long as he can hide the fact that he understands more of their conversations than he lets on.
His flashback to his time in work camp againhighlights the fairness in their siciety. They are judged by their peers, those who have been found guilty of the same crime. LT feels a fine would have been sufficient for his accidental fire in the Elvenwoods. Hunter suggests he learned more by sending time at the work camp.
The Elvenwood is a remarkable place, and the reader discovers this with LT. It protects and shelters travellers. It provides safe sleeping nooks that are warm. By the end of the chapter, LT has learned to canopy, having had a restful sleep and waking with no aches or pains. The very last part has LT’s mind lighter and more positive. It would appear the Elvenwood has had a bigger effect on him than just the physical benefits he experienced as he slept.
It moves the narrative forward. We have more world-building and a deeper sense of who the Elves are, how they operate and their respect for nature. The woods are sacred. They do not risk any damage to these ancient trees with fire. They respect the trees and the trees return that respect.
This chapter slows the narrative and allows the reader to breathe. It isn’t packed full of action, but the reader learns a great deal about the Elves, which allows the narrative to move forward as they approach their destination.
No comments other than I liked his chapter and the sense of awe created in LT.