Like most autistic people, I have a strong sense of justice and fairness.
It really bothers me when I perceive that somebody is being treated unfairly.
This can create a lot of problems for me at work.
Here’s why …
Autistic people do not have the same understanding of hierarchy as neurotypicals. We also do not fear social consequences to the same degree that neurotypicals do.
Therefore, we often don’t care who we piss off when we advocate for those who are being treated unfairly.
I’ll give you two examples.
Last year, as a member of the Board, I witnessed a male customer physically and verbally intimidating one of our female employees.
To me, that was wrong. So as a board member, I voted (with others) to ban that individual pending an apology and reconciliation.
I voted the way I did because I had very strong feelings that this behavior was unfair.
It did not occur to me that my vote would have social repercussions. It did not occur to me that voting this way would create forever enemies of a bunch of people who did not witness the event and who know nothing about who I am.
In my autistic brain, the man’s behavior was unfair. The proposed solution (apology and reconciliation) was fair. Anybody looking at the facts would see that and surely come to the same conclusion I did.
Boy. Did I get that one wrong.
Example #2.
It has seemed grossly unfair to me for the past two years that 20% of our players can dominate 80% of our rec signups — to the point that many of our new members simply give up, walk away, and play elsewhere.
So when the first opportunity to correct this injustice appeared, I seized it.
During my two-week tenure as interim General Manager, I changed the system to make it fairer for everyone.
I honestly thought everybody would see the facts for what they were, would see how much fairer the system was, and would be overjoyed with the changes.
Once again … autism = problem.
I didn’t see the social context the same way that a “normal” person does.
I did not recognize that people who hold a privilege will fight to maintain their privilege — even if that privilege is unfairly held.
An an autistic, I also failed to appreciate the social currency of the “we’ve been here longer” and “we’ve always done it this way” arguments.
That’s on me. I apologize for that. I need to do better analysis of potential neurotypical responses to change in the future.
But I will not apologize for taking a stand against what I perceive to be unfair in the first place. I will not apologize for that because that is who I am.
Being fair to everyone is hardwired into me and not something that will ever change — regardless of personal or professional consequences.
And I am sure this will get me into trouble in the future as it has in the past … which brings us to another autistic trait that bothers many neurotypicals: moral rigidity.
But that’s for another post.