Brent Johner, ink.
Professional Freelance Writing Services
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Although skunks live among us all year round, July is often the only month in which most Calgarians really notice their presence.
   Why is this? Skunks hibernate for much of the winter. Then after they awake, they are mostly nocturnal. In fact, skunks living under backyard decks and in dens under old garages in densely populated urban areas are entirely nocturnal. Therefore we rarely see them.
   Mother skunks typically give birth to five or six young on about the first of May. Six weeks later, the young begin to follow their mothers as they forage for food outside of the den. By mid-July the young are getting brave and are beginning to wander further away from their mothers.
   It is at about this time that young skunks begin to run into trouble with cars, cats and dogs. The resulting odour, sprayed from their anal glands, is soon drifting through open bedroom windows -- thereby notifying everyone sleeping in the vicinity that it is mid-July and that the baby skunks are beginning to wander again.
   It is also about this time that animal control officers with the City of Calgary begin to get calls from dismayed squirrel trappers who are suddenly waking up to find skunks in their traps. "We’re sorry," says the city to the horrified squirrel trappers, "We don't do skunks."
   So what is to be done about the skunks living under your deck?
   Unless you have a pet, it's probably best just to leave them alone. Hundreds of Calgarians have had skunks sharing their properties for years and are suffering no ill effects. Alternatively, you can wait until they leave the den for the night and then seal the hole. Unlike squirrels, skunks will usually move on.
   If you must trap them, you can call an exterminator who will charge you about $100.00 for the first skunk and about $50.00 for every skunk after that. So for a full den with a mother and six offspring, you are looking at something in the neighbourhood of $400.00.
   Alternatively, you can trap them yourself. A squirrel/racoon trap costs about $70.00 and tin of sardines (for bait) costs about $2.00. Remember to cover the trap with a heavy dark blanket before moving it so that the skunk does not spray. And consider putting trap, blanket and skunk into a plastic bin before transporting them in your vehicle.
   Trapped skunks are extremely docile and unlikely to spray. So there is no need to panic. Keep the blanket in place and move slowly. Avoid eye contact. If the animal starts stamping its feet, simply back off and let it calm down. When you get to your release destination, simply block the trap door open and back away.
   If you do happen to get sprayed, forget about the tomato juice legend. Tomato juice doesn't neutralize mercaptan. Instead, mix 1 litre of 3% hydrogen peroxide, 1/4 cup of baking soda and a teaspoon of dish soap. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

© Brent Johner. Originally published in Calgary Gardening, July 2006. Reprint rights available. $9.95 CDN. Non-exclusive.